blackbird fly.

hey.

my name is carissa jade and this is a blog about my post-graduate life. i never have been able to finish a journal, so i thought i'd try a blog instead. it has no end. this blog arises out of a personal need to chronicle what i consider "successes" in my life. i graduated from baylor university with a fine arts degree in theatre performance in may. when i came back home, i realized that i would have to define what "success" means for me, especially because the field of work I have chosen to pursue (at least for a time) is not where you make loads of money. and money will not be a measure of success for me.

just do it.

right now, i am finding a lot of success in having resolve. resolve is the firm determination to do something. after a week of lying around the house and settling back in at home, i found an audition online that didn't involve singing and was age-appropriate (hallelujah!). stage west is doing around the world in 80 days. the hardest thing for me was deciding to go. i had a lot of thoughts running through my head. am i really going to pursue acting when i could be making more money doing something else? if i start now, will i be able to change career directions easily? what if i go and realize that i'm not as good as i thought i was? do i really have enough experience? but among these questions was a deep need to get moving. to do something. to go. to take action. so somehow, i went. the audition itself was actually quite fun. i got to read twice for the one female role in the show. and yesterday i received the callback i was hoping for. success.

fake it till you make it.

in addition to this, my friend meg posted something about one of her friends needing a stage manager in new york. as soon as i saw that on facebook, i thought to myself: oh, that's in new york, too bad. but a day passed and i saw the post again and thought: wait! why the heck not? i'm unemployed and have a little bit of spare change. and i'm probably not qualified, but i'll take a stab at it. so i did. i texted meg, she sent an email, and a day later, i had the job! in a week and a half i will be going to new york for the first time in my life to stage manage a staged reading. how many people can say they did that in their lifetime? i will be able to. success.

laugh at the future.

i hope to experience many, many people, places, and things in my life. in order to do that, i have to go toe to toe with my own fear every. single. day. the fear of rejection. the fear of getting too far out of my comfort zone. the fear of being poor. the fear of sliding into a life of routine. and i am always ready for a challenge. college will not be the best years of my life. i'm about to create them. so here's to the future. let's laugh in it's face.

...and now a song.

blackbird singing in the dead of night

take these broken wings and learn to fly

all your life

you were only waiting for this moment to arise

blackbird singing in the dead of night

take these sunken eyes and learn to see

all your life

you were only waiting for this moment to arise

blackbird fly blackbird fly

into the light of the dark black night

blackbird fly blackbird fly

into the light of the dark black night

blackbird singing in the dead of night

take these broken wings and learn to fly

all your life

you were only waiting for this moment to arise

you were only waiting for this moment to arise

you were only waiting for this moment to arise